Dear Human,
Welcome to my chaotic writing blog!
Have you ever read a good piece of fiction or a poem and wondered what it was like writing it? How long has the author worked on it? Did they struggle, or did it come easily? Did they rewrite the story several times like Fitzgerald? Did their wife secretly help them like Sofya Tolstoy did for Leo? Were they on cocaine like Stephen King when he wrote The Tommyknockers? Were they so frustrated with their manuscript that they burnt it like Gogol burned the second volume of Dead Souls? Such moments stay behind the scenes while we only see the final product and think, “They’re just a genius. What’s the point of me even trying.”
I am a human who wants to be a writer. I am a human who writes stuff. As a human who writes stuff, I would like to share my behind-the-scenes moments with you. One of the most discouraging moments for me as a writer was when I was watching this conversation between Stephen King and George RR Martin, where King said, “I try to get those six pages, and I try to get them fairly clean” (00:58-01:02). I remember thinking to myself “I can never do that. How can I ever be a successful writer!?”
After moments like this, I thought about giving up writing, and I did, in fact, several times. But ideas, scenarios, and imaginary characters that have been ignored by me since childhood keep haunting me. Now, two decades later, I finally have the courage and the decency to follow them and take care of them like a responsible adult should.
Writing is uncertain. You never know when and where you will start: Should you wait for the idea to come to you, or is somewhere out there waiting to be discovered? Once you start, you never know how it will go: Will you write it all down in one sitting, or will you have to wait 20 years for the rest of the story to ripen? Should you plan and follow a pre-written outline or go with the flow? Once you’re halfway through, you never know where you’ll end up: What if you can’t come up with an ending, or what if the ending you come up with makes no sense?
You have to go through all this with imaginary readers and critics whispering in your ear you’re doing something wrong: successful vs failed writer, good vs bad writer, professional vs unprofessional writer, published vs unpublished writer, worthy vs worthless writer, fast vs slow writer. These dichotomies can turn writing into an actual battle with yourself, and as the saying goes, you are your worst enemy. How do you win the battle? What does success even look like?
But it doesn’t end here, does it? Writing doesn’t end by finishing the actual writing. Once there’s nothing more you can do, your writing has to go into the real world, be read, be interacted with, be judged, be tossed aside, and be forgotten by humans you have no control over. These strangers will judge you based on your writing and make assumptions about the person behind the words. This is where the battle with the real world starts. How do you adjust your writing to fit in with the conventions? Would you rather sacrifice your individuality or get published? Uncertainty follows you everywhere.
On my writing journey, I have failed many times but picked myself up. I have learned a lot about myself as a writer by listening to, reading about, and observing other writers around me. So, in my blog, I will refer to or take inspiration from other writers or people working with writers. I used to be convinced I could only share my work with people if it were perfect. My work has never reached the point of perfection, but I have learned the importance of a writing community in the lifecycle of a piece of writing. One way or another, everything is connected, and there’s no escaping it. Therefore, I am trying to form my writing community – be it friends, writers around me, or people online, like Scribophile or NaNoWriMo. Contact me if you are looking for the same thing!
In my blog, I want to share my writing process with you – humans who read, humans who write, humans who are scared to do something they want to do, or humans who went down the rabbit hole of the internet and randomly ended up here. I will be sharing my behind-the-scenes experiences after every writing session. If you find my experiences relatable, stick around.
Thank you,
Lalala
Lala 