I have been avoiding writing for a while now. All kinds of writing: posts, poetry, short stories, and even university papers. Poetry comes easier because it is short, and there is no story or character to develop. But at other times, I felt reluctance and avoidance to put my thoughts on paper and dive into the story. I decided to make a list of how I avoid writing so successfully. What are the strategies that I use? I came up with a list, and the list following in this particular order:
- Doing other “more important” things
- Reading because there are so many important works I haven’t read
- Comparing myself to others (linked to n.1) – following writers on Instagram, watching videos about writing and writers
- Signing up for writing classes and workshops because I have to improve my writing skills before I start writing.
- Buying books about writing and never having time to read them
- Coming up with a rigid schedule for writing, adding it to my calendar but being so overwhelmed with the schedule that I never end up following it. Plus, there are so many other more important things that need to be done so -> number 1
Once, I do eventually start writing, I enjoy the process and feel content. Therefore, in my case, the problem is not the act of writing but the erroneous thoughts about writing – that’s when the loop emerges. What am I avoiding? Is it writing or something else? Did I need to pay 200 dollars for that writing course, or am I going to avoid it, too?
Boston, US. Dec 17, 2024.
I believe I am avoiding responsibility and failure. I am avoiding dedicating myself to a craft so uncertain. I am deceiving myself by making it plan A because I am investing more time and energy into plans B, C, and D – more stable and reliable plans. The choice needs to be made, and not once, but every day and every moment. The way out is to consciously choose to write every day or at least every time there is an urge or a calling.
Failure, whatever definition you give it, is what every creative person has dealt with at some point. I want to address the following interview with Marina Abramović, not a writer but still an artist, and her advice to young artists. She says “ready to fail” (01:51) – a quote I am going to put on my phone background to look at every day. When you put yourself out there, whether it is on paper or on display, failures are inevitable. So, one has to make a conscious decision to fail, not just once, but at every step of the process – can’t develop an idea, can’t start, can’t finish, can’t express a feeling, can’t create a compelling character, can’t get approval from your readers, can’t publish, can’t make people read past the first paragraph.
These are scary things to deal with but Abramović’s philosophy is that you have to follow the very thing that scares you, the very things you don’t want to deal with. You must face your fear and you must be present, letting it permeate your body and mind, letting it happen. Otherwise, no creativity is possible.
Ultimately, hiding behind avoidance is our old friend FEAR lurking from a forgotten dark corner of your mind.
Lala 